Inventors Fair Skye

‘Roll up, Roll up, the inventors fair is here'.

‘Come see the miraculous, the incredible, the fan-tab-u-lous' announced the orator from his tiny wooden podium. He then leans forward and whispers to you ‘I know that fantabulous is not a word, but this is an inventors fair and if you can't invent a few words here and there, then what's the point, ay!' His moustache twitches in excitement which seems to accentuate the shiny baldness of his head.

‘Buy your tickets here' he announces to the crowd gesticulating in a strange flourish of twisting wrists towards the booth and turnstile.

‘Now good people, ladies and gentlemen, have you been acquainted with the astounding Mr Arac, who will be demonstrating his incredible Home Spider Dentistry Kit or what about Dr Faustus and his amazing security device, The Magic Void'. He pauses for effect before he continues ‘it's a new type of safe which hides your valuables inside a surprising quirk of space-time itself.' Go see him, he's at stall number 253, but then he mutters to you under his breath ‘I suggest you don't let him Magic Void your pet, last one came back a little squishy and the boys keeper was quite disgruntled.'

Suddenly you have a ticket and are through the barrier, and there before you is stall - upon stall - upon stall, this is the inventors fair. Tents and turrets are pitched everywhere, flags and banners billow as smartly suited visitors amble between the stalls. Noises fizz from displays where plumes of pink and purple smoke waft from curious contraptions to the left, right and just about everywhere.

A voting paper is then thrust into your hand and you notice it has six spaces for nominations, this is what you need to fill in and post before you exit.

You glance back and see the sun glint off the Orators shiny head as he disappears back through the gates. His wrists spin above his glistening head as he funnels and encourages more paying visitors through the turnstiles.

Now to the fair.

As you approach the stall you will see a machine like a printer. It is baby pink and it stands out a mile! You then you see a sweet come out of it. If you think its a normal sweet then you're wrong!!! "It is a colour changing flavour waving sweet! It has ten colours and ten flavours, " said a person that has multi-coloured lips and multicoloured hair that changes when she chews the sweet! Her name is Professer Rainbow.

Then the most incredible thing happened. Every one came over. Everyone loved the flavours except a man who had been in the car for a week to come here." I don't like the flavours . " he said " don't you worry think of the flavours you like Amdahl it will repeat them.

Slowly peoples skin turned multicoloured. "Oh I forgot to tell you, you might turn into rainbow minions"

This stall is very simple, there are no plumes of smoke or fancy flames, just a small trestle table and on which are little paper packets of ‘ible-dibbles– the wondrous memory pill'

A young boy was working this stall and selling quite a few packets.

‘Yes sir, they are very simple, just take one a day for a week and your memory will improve.' The gent in question said ‘I'll have two please', dropped his money on the table and opened the first pack immediately. ‘Just one a day sir,' said the boy but the man upended the pack and ate the lot in one gulp.

The boy watched him carefully and then said ‘will that be all sir' the gent looked a little pale and sipped the water which was offered, but as he did so, one of the pills rolled across the table to you. You pick it up slowly and notice it's about the size of a pea, green, but not bright green, more earthy like . . . And then you realise what they are but before you manage to say anything the boy gives you a kick under the table. It stops you short because the next gent is buying another two packs and drops his money on the table too, this is obviously a profitable invention.

But the boy knows what you know, and that these little pills are in fact rabbit droppings! The gents move away, pleased with their purchase as the boy leans over and says sorry ‘you were about to give up my game' he said.

‘You can't sell them rabbit droppings as memory pills, it's a con' you say.

‘No it's not' said the boy ‘those men will never forget the week they ate rabbit poo'

He does have a point, so before you move on make a note on your voting slip about this boy's invention.

Glowap is a globe and you tap a country and in 3 secs you are in that country ( amazing right?) It is pocket sized and if you are bored at home you take it out of your pocket and blow it up, a little bit like a balloon. It is in 2 colours blue, for the sea and green for the land. If you tap the sea you will end up onto a boat and you in a super diving suit and into the sea swimming with the dolphins. It's like a fire ball or the earth is in your hands because it is!
If you don't know which country you are in it will have the name of the country so you know in which country you are in. To go to the country, you have to tap the country once for some information, but to go to the country, you have to tap it 3 times.
"Gather up ! Gather up people! Any volunteers?" One volunteer stood up. "I will," said the volunteer who stood up . The volunteer name was Zacc .Zacc tappped a country once to see some information and then tapped it three times to go . "Finally my invention has worked!" Said the professor,but then the professor didn't release that the machine didn't have a come back leaver! " ohh no! It hasn't got a come back leaver! Ohh no ! My life is rewind ! It's all my fault!! ahhh! " said the professor." Maybe I shouldn't sell this product after all " said the professor is a very dramatic voice.
You decide to leave.

You see a red carpet leading up to several maniquin heads on pillars. They are covered in pearl necklaces and choakers.

"Roll up roll up! Volunteers needed... let's say 7. Everyone put their hands up. You, you, you, you, you, you, and you come on up you 7. You are my volunteers for this marvellous creation it's wonderful!"

"Think of something in your head and hold on to your necklace." One by one they turned into what they were fpthinking of in their heads .One turned into a turtle ,a queen , a mermaid, a bird , a flamingo and a princess .

"To turn back into yourself again just think of yourself." They all turned back except one little girl. She was stuck forever as a turtle!!!

You decide to leave quickly!

When you walk up to the stall you will see a amazing sight. It is like the colour of Elmer the elephant like a patchwork quilt. The cloak is about the size of a bath towel only softer than a bath towel.

A young boy came up and tried it on. Slowly his head disspeared, followed by his shoulders than his body, his legs and finally his feet and then HE disappeared!

He couldn't get it off and he was invisible forever. You don't want this to happen to you, so you decide to leave and 'disappear' yourself!

Just between the stall with ‘knicker stickers - you'll never get them in a twist again' and ‘Mr Slow Coach - the world's first professional slug trainer' is a stall which is double wide. A boat sail is hoisted high with the words ‘The Gastonaught Experience' below which there is a projection of a low quality film, perhaps a live stream.

‘And here we have our two new volunteers,' as two young men in a flat caps step up from the crowd. The technicians fit the skinner in a heavy diving suit who is lifted by a wooden crane over a huge tank of murky green fluid. The volunteer waves confidently to the crowd as he is lowered down and the projection on the screen behind becomes very green as he descends. The gastronaught puts his thumbs up and you see him grinning through the armoured tank walls and his metal helmet.

The tank lid is secured down and then bolted whilst his friend waits behind a curtain oblivious.

Down from ten the presenter counts with the crowd joining in on the final three, two, one, zero. Then on the final digit the lights on the sides of the tank begin to glow, the water clears a little then bubbles begin to rise making it look like the fluid is slowly boiling!

Then all of a sudden the fluid is gone and with it the man in the suit, but the presenter is turning a little tap and drawing off a glass of pink fluid. Inside there appears to be a tiny toy man but in the projection everyone could see a very large presenter peering into the lens.

The volunteer gastronaught has been shrunk!

But what happened next was even more incredible for the presenter took the glass around the curtain to the other volunteer, passing it to him to drink! A huge image of teeth then appears on the screen behind as he knocks the drink back.

The shrunken gastronaught was swallowed down in one!

On the projection screen the film shows the view from the gastronaught's perspective who was now swimming in gastric juices, he was in his friends' belly!

The presenter then placed a metal funnel to the volunteer's belly and positively shouted down it ‘Can you hear me?' And at this the gastronaught put his thumb up. ‘Great, now try to make your way along the tunnel we have about twenty minutes before you return to your real size and your friend here would rather you complete your journey with a successful evacuation before the time is up'.

Behind a timer begins to count down and the reality of what's just happened dawns on the volunteer, colour drains from his face as he turns to see the screen behind.

‘Now not to worry young man' said the presenter, ‘I am sure your friend can find his way past some of these . . . chunks.' And the crowd laugh but you have a terrible feeling that this isn't going to play out very well so make a swift exit.

But before you move on make a mark on your voting sheet.

The Orator approaches, bald head glistening in the sun.

‘Place your sheets in the box and we'll see who the Inventor Supremo is in the 117th inventors fair'.

Is there one invention which is the best in your opinion? Have a discussion now and see which you think is the most impressive, when you have decided then please read on.

‘Good good.' Says the orator as you post your sheets, but suddenly there is a huge sound from the middle of the field, you look over and see a jet of blue flame snatch up into the air. A BOOM follows which is so loud you feel it in your chest, and the orators mouth drops open aghast at what is unfolding.

A flash follows with attendants and visitors running pell-mell away from the ‘Mr Bubbles, double bubble super fizz pop' tent. ‘Run for cover' they shout as people dive behind bales of straw just before the BIG explosion.

The next events seem to happen in slow motion as tents flatten across the field and flags bend horizontally away from the epicentre of Mr Bubbles. Then a black wall sweeps across towards you and there is only a moment to duck before it engulfs you. But thankfully it passes in a moment and you stand again to see the orator is covered head to foot in soot! He turns with mouth still open and moustache intact to the single flash of a reporter's camera.

‘Well it would appear that the 117th inventors fair has come to an abrupt end' he says to you with eyebrows raised as high as they will go.

The next day the local paper lands on your hall carpet with this very photograph, the orator is central, treacle black from head to foot and behind him the stately metal dome of Mr Bubbles is spurting with a mountain of foam.

The headline runs with ‘Inventor's Bubble Trouble. Hundreds flee from catastrophic fizzy pop explosion at the 117th inventors fair'.

To the left of the picture you can see yourself looking rather surprised.

What an event!


The End

What inventions would you have liked to have seen at the fair?

Are they big or small, can they be held in your hand, or carried on your back?

Is it edible, totally credible or just downright daft!

Have a talk amongst yourselves whilst the other groups catch up.