‘Roll up, Roll up, the inventors fair is here'.
‘Come see the miraculous, the incredible, the fan-tab-u-lous' announced the orator from his tiny wooden podium. He then leans forward and whispers to you ‘I know that fantabulous is not a word, but this is an inventors fair and if you can't invent a few words here and there, then what's the point, ay!' His moustache twitches in excitement which seems to accentuate the shiny baldness of his head.
‘Buy your tickets here' he announces to the crowd gesticulating in a strange flourish of twisting wrists towards the booth and turnstile.
‘Now good people, ladies and gentlemen, have you been acquainted with the astounding Mr Arac, who will be demonstrating his incredible Home Spider Dentistry Kit or what about Dr Faustus and his amazing security device, The Magic Void'. He pauses for effect before he continues ‘it's a new type of safe which hides your valuables inside a surprising quirk of space-time itself.' Go see him, he's at stall number 253, but then he mutters to you under his breath ‘I suggest you don't let him Magic Void your pet, last one came back a little squishy and the boys keeper was quite disgruntled.'
Suddenly you have a ticket and are through the barrier, and there before you is stall - upon stall - upon stall, this is the inventors fair. Tents and turrets are pitched everywhere, flags and banners billow as smartly suited visitors amble between the stalls. Noises fizz from displays where plumes of pink and purple smoke waft from curious contraptions to the left, right and just about everywhere.
A voting paper is then thrust into your hand and you notice it has six spaces for nominations, this is what you need to fill in and post before you exit.
You glance back and see the sun glint off the Orators shiny head as he disappears back through the gates. His wrists spin above his glistening head as he funnels and encourages more paying visitors through the turnstiles.
Now to the fair.
Go behind the Mulberry Tree.